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Spears Makes His Point


Feb 13, 2019 Always My Valentine


One of our football players grandfather passed away this week. I sent a text to him and his mother expressing my condolences. Her response: Thank you! Love your daughter forever. It’s the best feeling for a girl even at 44.

This weekend at my wife’s grandfather’s funeral I paid close attention to his six daughters. All I could think about was the void they would feel without their father.

Fourteen years ago when Tanika told me she was pregnant; I wasn’t very excited. We had only been married five months and I had not accomplished my goals.

I had a five year plan and children were not a part of it. Months later when she revealed we were having a girl I thought God was punishing me for my behavior as an adolescent and young adult.

I had always imagined my first child would be a boy, and eventually we did have a boy. However, our first born was a girl. My son and I are twins. Alike in so many ways. My wife and I are blessed to have a boy and a girl. I often tell our son he is my favorite son and our daughter that she is my favorite daughter.

A few years ago I started getting my daughter a stuffed animal for Valentine’s Day. One day I will take her on a mock date and show her what she deserves when she starts dating. I will try to simulate a romantic dinner like the father-daughter dinner in the movie Courageous.

The Waffle House is offering romantic Valentine’s Day dinner at various locations. When I think of romantic restaurants the Waffle House is not one. I use to coach with a guy who ate Waffle House every Saturday morning with his daughter. They started this tradition when she was a little girl and they ate at the same Waffle House until his untimely demise.

This week some of my friends have posted pictures of themselves on social media at Daddy/Daughter dances. The toughest guy in the world melts around his daughter. Having a daughter is truly special.

I pray I am a good example for mine. The way I treat my wife will mold the way she sees men. Children learn their values from their first role models, their parents. I cherish the time I have with my little Valentine, because I won’t always be the guy she looks forward to hearing from the most.

One day some ugly boy will take my place. Not as my daughter’s father, but as the most important guy in her life, her Valentine. I literally pray for my future son-in-law. I don’t pray about his race, his height, his income or his interest.

Those are things I don’t care about. I pray about his heart. I pray that he will love her with all his heart. I pray that when he hurts her, he will be man enough to admit he is wrong and love her as she heals.

I pray that when things get hard, he will not chose the path of least resistance but the path that is hard but necessary. I pray he chooses the difficult right over the easy wrong. I pray that he is unselfish and unlike most men. I pray that he understands I will never stop giving my daughter a stuffed animal on Valentine’s Day, even though he will become her Valentine.

Girls who grow up with active fathers are more successful than girls who grow up without fathers. Statistics found on WordPress via suggest 63% of youth suicides come from fatherless homes as does 90% of homeless/runaways, 85% of children who show behavior disorders, over 70% of high school dropout come from girls without fathers. Fatherless homes also account for most problems associated with alcohol and drug abuse, incarceration and crime.

Daughters need their daddy.

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